At the inclusive theatre meeeting today, my boss made specific mention to me being shy. I would like to clarify a few things. I am not shy, and I dont care what people think of me. My thing is this, in a group or planning committee, I tend to sit back and get a feel for the group before I make any statements. I like to fully understand what is going on and how people are thinking... I tend to like to people watch and try to figure people out. No, a planning meeting isnt necessarily the place to do it, but the thing is I am not shy. When I have something so say, I will say it... when I dont, I wont always waste my breath.
My other group senario is this: If I am new to an idea or way of thinking, I tend to sit back in order to gain a firm grasp of what is going on. I did this alot in classes and found that I actually retained more information that way. Sometimes I feel like my mind is working so quickly sometimes that I need to just feed off of what other people are saying and then talk it out later with maybe one or two people. I find myself doing this with the Inclusive Theatre Initiative because though I am comfortable in a theatre setting, I know nothing about working with diasabilities. Therefore, since i am working with a lot of people who have experience in this, I am trying to soak in as much information as I can.
I suppse that can come off as shy, but really I am not. I realize I have to work on just giving my input even if I am trying to work it out for myself... but you know, you do need people in the group like me who are willing to just sit back a little. Because, you know what? I step up, always, when I am needed.
29 January 2007
March for peace
Friday night we hopped on a bus with about 100 other peace activists to head to DC. We traveled all through the night, braving the snow and the rain. For warmth I used a blanket that I was finishing. Its gryffindorish colors were still visible in the darkness, that's what i get for using bright colors. The terrain was rough at times and wind brutal, but still we carried on for if we didn't we might never make it to the capital in time. Thus our peace efforts would be useless...
Okay so here's the deal, as wagon trainish as it just sounded, I am sure you can suspect that it was nothing of the sort. We traveled by bus with a bunch of anti war former hippies, and nuns to DC. Yes, I was crocheting a blanket, and yes it was gryffindor colored, but it was by no means my source of warmth... buses have this wonderful thing called heat. To tell you the truth, I slept most of the bust trip there and back.
We got to DC though and I was on home turf again. It was a gorgeous day of 55 degrees Fahrenheit, a far cry from the freezing temperatures of Detroit. I was again in my element and thriving. I am really an east coast girl at heart. Anita and I stole away to her aunts house for a while before attempting to join the rest of the group at the peace march. Her aunt is amazing and really down to earth; i can understand why this is her favorite aunt.
We get back to the Mall in time for the march. Anita and I joined Mary in midst of the mob of masked Bushes and anti war activists. It was inspiring to be around thousands of people who feel the same or at least similarly to me about the issue of war.. specifically the war in Iraq. I really need to stay more up to date with current events. As a group, we marched all the way around the Capitol, a feat that has apparently never been done. 500, 000 people marching around the Capitol. Can you think of a better sight to see?
Anita and I some how made our way up to the front of the crowd. What can I say, when the group stopped walking, we kept going because we wanted to see why the group was stopped. Curiosity got us to the front of the crowd. We rock.
For once it was nice to be in DC, not as a resident of the state, not as a tourist, but as an activist there with a specific goal in mind: to make our voices heard. Exercising our right to free speech, and our concern as the American people. This experience is second in awe only to Live 8, though there were only 100, 000 people in Hyde Park in London, there were 100, 000 people in each of 8 different locations. There were were united not at a country, but as a world.
It is so easy to become lost in the sea of citizens, feeling like a person but not really part of anything larger. Experiences like these make one person feel like so much more, like we are part of something so much bigger. They empower that one person to make a difference.
Okay so here's the deal, as wagon trainish as it just sounded, I am sure you can suspect that it was nothing of the sort. We traveled by bus with a bunch of anti war former hippies, and nuns to DC. Yes, I was crocheting a blanket, and yes it was gryffindor colored, but it was by no means my source of warmth... buses have this wonderful thing called heat. To tell you the truth, I slept most of the bust trip there and back.
We got to DC though and I was on home turf again. It was a gorgeous day of 55 degrees Fahrenheit, a far cry from the freezing temperatures of Detroit. I was again in my element and thriving. I am really an east coast girl at heart. Anita and I stole away to her aunts house for a while before attempting to join the rest of the group at the peace march. Her aunt is amazing and really down to earth; i can understand why this is her favorite aunt.
We get back to the Mall in time for the march. Anita and I joined Mary in midst of the mob of masked Bushes and anti war activists. It was inspiring to be around thousands of people who feel the same or at least similarly to me about the issue of war.. specifically the war in Iraq. I really need to stay more up to date with current events. As a group, we marched all the way around the Capitol, a feat that has apparently never been done. 500, 000 people marching around the Capitol. Can you think of a better sight to see?
Anita and I some how made our way up to the front of the crowd. What can I say, when the group stopped walking, we kept going because we wanted to see why the group was stopped. Curiosity got us to the front of the crowd. We rock.
For once it was nice to be in DC, not as a resident of the state, not as a tourist, but as an activist there with a specific goal in mind: to make our voices heard. Exercising our right to free speech, and our concern as the American people. This experience is second in awe only to Live 8, though there were only 100, 000 people in Hyde Park in London, there were 100, 000 people in each of 8 different locations. There were were united not at a country, but as a world.
It is so easy to become lost in the sea of citizens, feeling like a person but not really part of anything larger. Experiences like these make one person feel like so much more, like we are part of something so much bigger. They empower that one person to make a difference.
24 January 2007
Jesus in the Hood
Yet another show at the theatre; I am double cast in this one, playing the costume designer AND assistant stage manager. Good grief am I getting a double dose of theatre experience.... and wouldn't you know? I love it!
What I love most about doing costumes for this show is that the costumes need to be modern street clothes. To learn about about how gang members dress today, I talked to Anita's middle school girls and just observed the people I saw in Southwest Detroit. Active research is what I like best. When you're designing a show set in the past, the closest you can get to it is pictures. Sometimes if you're lucky, you might be able to actually get a hold of the clothes from the period. Jesus in the Hood is living breathing Detroit. What more could you ask for in a show. Once I have down the style of the street, I can then start to add the little symbolic elements to the costumes. Of course, they happen to be things that only people looking really hard for scriptural meaning will find. But, the fun of it is putting it there for people to find.
As far as being the assistant stage manager goes, I am having a blast. I love actually having a say in the casting, blocking and the overall visual design. Yes, I do realize that its not common for stage managers to have such a say in the show. That is why I love working for a small theatre!
What I love most about doing costumes for this show is that the costumes need to be modern street clothes. To learn about about how gang members dress today, I talked to Anita's middle school girls and just observed the people I saw in Southwest Detroit. Active research is what I like best. When you're designing a show set in the past, the closest you can get to it is pictures. Sometimes if you're lucky, you might be able to actually get a hold of the clothes from the period. Jesus in the Hood is living breathing Detroit. What more could you ask for in a show. Once I have down the style of the street, I can then start to add the little symbolic elements to the costumes. Of course, they happen to be things that only people looking really hard for scriptural meaning will find. But, the fun of it is putting it there for people to find.
As far as being the assistant stage manager goes, I am having a blast. I love actually having a say in the casting, blocking and the overall visual design. Yes, I do realize that its not common for stage managers to have such a say in the show. That is why I love working for a small theatre!
18 January 2007
Weekend Getaway
For the first time since I have been in Detroit (with the exception of Christmas), I am taking a weekend get away... alone... to visit my brother in New York. How excited am I? Very, I am meeting my Brother's girlfriend.
Why is this significant? Well, aside from the fact that we are a close family that likes to nose our way in on this sort of thing, this is the first serious girlfriend since the shark. Without even meeting her, I have a good feeling about this one. I am the only one in my family who has not, yet, met her. From the little I have talked to her, though, she seems ridiculously awesome. She sounds like someone I could actually have a decent conversation with... as opposed to just being present as a shopping buddy (the shark was a great example of that). As a peace offering, and thank you for allowing me to stay at her place, I made her a mask... a beautiful mask at that. It looks almost Venetian, brightly colored and pretty.
Aside from this very significant meeting, I am excited to get away... to the city that never sleeps... where extroverts thrive and are twice as full of energy as anyone ever thought they could be. This is New York; this is my get away.
Upon arriving to New York, I promptly retrieved my baggage from the baggage claim and, in true new york fashion, hailed a cab to take me to my brothers place, or should I say Amy's place. Of course because of weather and traffic my flight had been previously delayed in Detroit, but all is well. I arrive at Tom's place mere moments before my younger brother, who unfortunately flew into a different terminal and thus made it too difficult to meet up with him at the airport. It was 1 am at that point, and we were exhausted.
After a refreshing sleep, we awake and begin our new york adventure. Because I am a nerd who loves art, I drag Sean to the Met. He doesn't like it, at least not the modern art section. The rest of the day we debate the true worth of art and what therefore can or cannot be considered so. Quite an interesting debate since he has never taken an art class before in his life.
Friday night, Tom and Amy took Sean and I out to dinner with some of their friends. It was at this cute little restaurant, and the company was quite nice since we didn't leave until 11:30pm. Afterwards they took us to a couple of Bars before we turned in for the night... We didnt get in until 4:30am, I would call that a successful night.
The next morning when we woke up, we ordered in from one of Tom's favorite local diners. OMG it was delicious. Following that Amy and I went to see Le Miz. I am an avid theatre lover and I had never seen it before. The performance was amazing and the visual design incredible. I would love to see it again and again to try and theorize the significance of every little part of it. I think the best part about the show was talking with Amy afterwards; between her love of the show and my love of the theatre, it made for an interesting conversation. I took it as quite the compliment when she told me that she really enjoyed seeing the show with someone who appreciates the theatre so much.
That night the 4 of us took it easy, went out for a fun dinner and a quiet dessert of smores at Cosi. What a nice and relaxing feeling it is to take it easy once in a while.
Sunday we awoke leisurely and then went to take pictures in Central Park. Did I mention that Amy lives right near Central Park? We went to this adorable little diner for lunch, Fred's, I think it was. Fred's is a diner/ bar themed around dogs. My brother, the charismatic guy he is talked to the owner and suggested that they make doggy jackets, tee shirts and collars to sell with the apparel. With all the tourists that go in and out of that place, he is sure to make a fortune. Tourists really are suckers. The guy liked the suggestion so much, he gave us our meal half price. So, we leave this diner and go back to Amy's place to pack then head home.
I departed NY in the same fashion as I arrived: took a taxi to the airport and watched the city as I left town. Tom walked me out to flag a cab. I of course have to give him my sisterly opinion of Amy, but all I said to him was "Tom, she's amazing. Don't let her go." I think he has already come to that conclusion. To tell you the truth I don't think I have seen him this happy or smitten in a long time. I hope this is the one.
I am sad to say that my weekend ended far too soon. New York is an amazing city that I am in love with. If I don't end up traveling the world next year, this is where I want to be. So many dream of going to New York, making it big, striking it rich, and living a fantastical life. I don't care so much about that as I do of finding adventure, and adventure can always be found in New York. This weekend was the first time in a long time that I have felt completely free and comfortable in a place. It felt right, almost as right at London feels. When something feels this right, sometimes you have to just jump into it without thinking twice and without worrying about failing. If its right, then it will eventually work itself out.
Why is this significant? Well, aside from the fact that we are a close family that likes to nose our way in on this sort of thing, this is the first serious girlfriend since the shark. Without even meeting her, I have a good feeling about this one. I am the only one in my family who has not, yet, met her. From the little I have talked to her, though, she seems ridiculously awesome. She sounds like someone I could actually have a decent conversation with... as opposed to just being present as a shopping buddy (the shark was a great example of that). As a peace offering, and thank you for allowing me to stay at her place, I made her a mask... a beautiful mask at that. It looks almost Venetian, brightly colored and pretty.
Aside from this very significant meeting, I am excited to get away... to the city that never sleeps... where extroverts thrive and are twice as full of energy as anyone ever thought they could be. This is New York; this is my get away.
Upon arriving to New York, I promptly retrieved my baggage from the baggage claim and, in true new york fashion, hailed a cab to take me to my brothers place, or should I say Amy's place. Of course because of weather and traffic my flight had been previously delayed in Detroit, but all is well. I arrive at Tom's place mere moments before my younger brother, who unfortunately flew into a different terminal and thus made it too difficult to meet up with him at the airport. It was 1 am at that point, and we were exhausted.
After a refreshing sleep, we awake and begin our new york adventure. Because I am a nerd who loves art, I drag Sean to the Met. He doesn't like it, at least not the modern art section. The rest of the day we debate the true worth of art and what therefore can or cannot be considered so. Quite an interesting debate since he has never taken an art class before in his life.
Friday night, Tom and Amy took Sean and I out to dinner with some of their friends. It was at this cute little restaurant, and the company was quite nice since we didn't leave until 11:30pm. Afterwards they took us to a couple of Bars before we turned in for the night... We didnt get in until 4:30am, I would call that a successful night.
The next morning when we woke up, we ordered in from one of Tom's favorite local diners. OMG it was delicious. Following that Amy and I went to see Le Miz. I am an avid theatre lover and I had never seen it before. The performance was amazing and the visual design incredible. I would love to see it again and again to try and theorize the significance of every little part of it. I think the best part about the show was talking with Amy afterwards; between her love of the show and my love of the theatre, it made for an interesting conversation. I took it as quite the compliment when she told me that she really enjoyed seeing the show with someone who appreciates the theatre so much.
That night the 4 of us took it easy, went out for a fun dinner and a quiet dessert of smores at Cosi. What a nice and relaxing feeling it is to take it easy once in a while.
Sunday we awoke leisurely and then went to take pictures in Central Park. Did I mention that Amy lives right near Central Park? We went to this adorable little diner for lunch, Fred's, I think it was. Fred's is a diner/ bar themed around dogs. My brother, the charismatic guy he is talked to the owner and suggested that they make doggy jackets, tee shirts and collars to sell with the apparel. With all the tourists that go in and out of that place, he is sure to make a fortune. Tourists really are suckers. The guy liked the suggestion so much, he gave us our meal half price. So, we leave this diner and go back to Amy's place to pack then head home.
I departed NY in the same fashion as I arrived: took a taxi to the airport and watched the city as I left town. Tom walked me out to flag a cab. I of course have to give him my sisterly opinion of Amy, but all I said to him was "Tom, she's amazing. Don't let her go." I think he has already come to that conclusion. To tell you the truth I don't think I have seen him this happy or smitten in a long time. I hope this is the one.
I am sad to say that my weekend ended far too soon. New York is an amazing city that I am in love with. If I don't end up traveling the world next year, this is where I want to be. So many dream of going to New York, making it big, striking it rich, and living a fantastical life. I don't care so much about that as I do of finding adventure, and adventure can always be found in New York. This weekend was the first time in a long time that I have felt completely free and comfortable in a place. It felt right, almost as right at London feels. When something feels this right, sometimes you have to just jump into it without thinking twice and without worrying about failing. If its right, then it will eventually work itself out.
10 January 2007
I want to be a Nomad
My roommate Anita hooked me into this TV show from a couple of years ago... you may have heard of it, FIREFLY. The show is a brilliantly written space western that masterfully explores the relationships of these futuristic cowboys/girls and the adventures they have while galavanting the galaxy. Besides the fact that I am in love with the doctor on the show (completely adorable and a total pretty boy... the kind of guy I would actually like to fall for but never actually do), i think it is a fantastic show, or rather adventure. Everyone should watch this show.
Firefly has made me realize something about myself. I am in love with the idea of being a nomad, or really, just someone who travels around with out a real location to call home. First of all, my idea of home is so abstract that I will never actually not have a home. When I say that I dont want a place to call home, I just mean that I dont want to be tied down to anything or any place. To take a year off and travel the world would be amazing and a dream come true.... so, why not do it now when I am single, and havent started a career, and am looking to adventure outward anyways?
Mercy Volunteer Corps is a first step in my life as a nomad. It is a home, but not a home. Someplace I am living for a while but will soon enough be leaving. A year can be a very long time for some, but a year is a year. I have lived only 22 of them so far and they go by very quickly. I lived most of them in the same location... virginia beach... I spent 16 years there (counting college), 17 years total in Virginia. Its time I see a few other places. For me, home is what you make of it, so even a Nomad can have a home. I feel like my spirit longs to adventure, to travel and to see what this world is... I want to see what this world REALLY is, not some touristy world view. A tourists view is in a way blinded, or blurred.
I want to completely open my eyes to the world that is before me, and then come back to share stories. But the time I decided to settle, start a career, think about the possibility of marriage and a family, I want to have a solid world view. One that is all my own. But how can I find my own vision if I feel like I haven't seen anything? not really anyways...
Firefly has made me realize something about myself. I am in love with the idea of being a nomad, or really, just someone who travels around with out a real location to call home. First of all, my idea of home is so abstract that I will never actually not have a home. When I say that I dont want a place to call home, I just mean that I dont want to be tied down to anything or any place. To take a year off and travel the world would be amazing and a dream come true.... so, why not do it now when I am single, and havent started a career, and am looking to adventure outward anyways?
Mercy Volunteer Corps is a first step in my life as a nomad. It is a home, but not a home. Someplace I am living for a while but will soon enough be leaving. A year can be a very long time for some, but a year is a year. I have lived only 22 of them so far and they go by very quickly. I lived most of them in the same location... virginia beach... I spent 16 years there (counting college), 17 years total in Virginia. Its time I see a few other places. For me, home is what you make of it, so even a Nomad can have a home. I feel like my spirit longs to adventure, to travel and to see what this world is... I want to see what this world REALLY is, not some touristy world view. A tourists view is in a way blinded, or blurred.
I want to completely open my eyes to the world that is before me, and then come back to share stories. But the time I decided to settle, start a career, think about the possibility of marriage and a family, I want to have a solid world view. One that is all my own. But how can I find my own vision if I feel like I haven't seen anything? not really anyways...
04 January 2007
Reflections from a free mind
One of my many thoughts over my Christmas Holiday:
Spending time with friends can be wonderful and enlightening. I haven’t seen my friend Hilary since graduation, and so we spent the day hanging out and talking. What do girls do better than talk? We talked about life, boy troubles, and fears. In talking I had a realization today: I am terrified. I am terrified of life, and of love and of growing up. I am afraid of something unexpected happening. I am afraid to start looking for future jobs because I am scared of taking that next step.
How can someone who considers herself a risk taker be so frightened of the future?
I have been asking myself that same question all day. The thing is, just because I am scared doesn’t mean I am going to let that interfere with my living. I have no plans so I can’t worry that I will stray from them. I have ideas of what I want my life to be like, but ideas change as people change.
Why worry about tomorrow when there is today to live. I think this is something I am starting to understand only after living in Detroit. College was a great experience in living, but college is close to care free. Detroit is a whole new world view I would have never been exposed to through college.
My best bet is to just hang in there and let life happen. I can't and won't live in caution... come on, thats not me. I am going to just trust that it will all eventually make sense, even if it doent right now. I will be me and live as if i were going to die tomorrow.
"This above all, to thine own self be true..." William Shakespeare
As for love? I am scared of letting myself fall for someone. I mean really fall for someone. The silly little crushes that mean nothing but unrequited love don’t count. That is me giving myself heartache without letting someone else in. There is no commitment involved, and it prevents my mind from noticing people that may be out there. I know, it’s crazy, demented and masochistic in a way. What can I say, though? It’s a defense mechanism.
For me, right now, falling in love would be the worst thing in the world. Okay, so it would be the worst and best possible thing. Worst, because falling in love has the potential to change everything. It has the potential to tie me down, to make me stand still for a while. Is it selfish for me to say that though I want the connection and companionship of a relationship, I am afraid of what it could mean.
Spending time with friends can be wonderful and enlightening. I haven’t seen my friend Hilary since graduation, and so we spent the day hanging out and talking. What do girls do better than talk? We talked about life, boy troubles, and fears. In talking I had a realization today: I am terrified. I am terrified of life, and of love and of growing up. I am afraid of something unexpected happening. I am afraid to start looking for future jobs because I am scared of taking that next step.
How can someone who considers herself a risk taker be so frightened of the future?
I have been asking myself that same question all day. The thing is, just because I am scared doesn’t mean I am going to let that interfere with my living. I have no plans so I can’t worry that I will stray from them. I have ideas of what I want my life to be like, but ideas change as people change.
Why worry about tomorrow when there is today to live. I think this is something I am starting to understand only after living in Detroit. College was a great experience in living, but college is close to care free. Detroit is a whole new world view I would have never been exposed to through college.
My best bet is to just hang in there and let life happen. I can't and won't live in caution... come on, thats not me. I am going to just trust that it will all eventually make sense, even if it doent right now. I will be me and live as if i were going to die tomorrow.
"This above all, to thine own self be true..." William Shakespeare
As for love? I am scared of letting myself fall for someone. I mean really fall for someone. The silly little crushes that mean nothing but unrequited love don’t count. That is me giving myself heartache without letting someone else in. There is no commitment involved, and it prevents my mind from noticing people that may be out there. I know, it’s crazy, demented and masochistic in a way. What can I say, though? It’s a defense mechanism.
For me, right now, falling in love would be the worst thing in the world. Okay, so it would be the worst and best possible thing. Worst, because falling in love has the potential to change everything. It has the potential to tie me down, to make me stand still for a while. Is it selfish for me to say that though I want the connection and companionship of a relationship, I am afraid of what it could mean.
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