Trying to Reach the Ground

Every once in a while stop and ask yourself, "When have I gone too far?" What is too far really? Is there a point where we are going so fast in some undetermined direction that we stop noticing the world around us, that we lose grasp of what we are striving so hard for? How long does it take to lose ourselves?

Speed Dating

As we all know, the dating life is brutal and so every once in a while we need to spice it up a bit, branch out and find new ways of meeting people. To all singles out there, I highly recommend speed dating. As crazy as it sounds, its totally fun and at the very least a great story to tell later.

First thing you must know about me, if you don't already know, I am horrible at the whole dating game. I honestly don't think I have ever made it past date 3. I seem to attract the guys who want to get to serious too quickly and so I jump ship. The other scenario involves guys who play the text message game instead of calling, and I get bored of them before they even ask me out. (for the record though, after two weeks of texting, do you blame me?)

Anyways, my friend and I decide speed dating would be fun, so we find one sign up and decide to go. The day of, the location changes... from a swanky lower east side lounge, to an Uno Lounge down at South Street Sea Port. No matter, I am meeting up with my friend ahead of time and then were heading down together. Of course, we hop on the wrong downtown bus resulting in us taking a cab from city hall to the location. After train, bus, cab and some walking we finally make it. Hopping out of the cab we look around for the place, all we see is UNOs Pizza. We look at the place, at each other, at the place and literally at the same time say "you've got to be kidding me." As we had already paid, we trudged on.

We walk in, check in, drop our stuff at our table, grab a drink and talk with the girls until the event begins.

How it works: Girls each get a number (1-10) and a table. We stay stationary. Guys get corresponding numbers (31-40). Guys will rotate at the end of each 5-7 minute session. As we go we are supposed to take notes on said guys so we can, in true elementary school fashion, check yes or no as to whether we want to see them again.

Let the games begin.

I was girl number 6 with a nice little table in the corner, I begin with guy 36.



#36- Codename "Fist Bump"

This guy sits down and introduces himself with a fist bump, hence the nickname. He and I start talking, not entirely sure whether the event has officially started. Were both there for the same reasons, to have fun and meet people. Apparently he and 3 of his friends are there for the hell of it because they thought it would be fun. My question is if they all live and work in Brooklyn, why are they coming to Manhattan to speed date. No matter. I get a fist bump every time I make a cool or obscure comment, and for working in film and any other time he feels like doing so. He does ask me if i could describe myself in one word or phrase what it would be. I say care bear. Then I top his question with "if you could be any office supply, what and why?" He struggles for an answer, and is impressed with my comeback. I get another fist bump. I think the total comes to 5 or 6 at the end of 5 minutes. My friend was slightly jealous, she only got 3. If 6 fist bumps in 5 minutes doesn't say he's into me, I don't know what does.

SWITCH

#35- Codename "Boobwatcher"

I swear from the moment this kid sits down to the moment he leaves, this kids eyes don't leave my cleavage. Now I mean they did tell us to dress sorta business casual, or even like first date type dress so naturally my shirt that says "I'm up here" with an arrow pointing upwards was out of the question... but I didn't think I was going to have to wear it. Less than a minute into the conversation I was talking wildly with my hands trying to both excite the conversation and direct his eyes else where. I was like an air traffic controller, or one of those tour guides: "If you direct your attention away from my cleavage, you might realize I'm more than merely my rack."

*NOTE* I do not actually have an "I'm Up Here" Shirt, but am now considering making the investment.

SWITCH

#34- Codename "Taurus"

He was cute, and cute in a way I'm not normally attracted to. He was a bit bull like, big upper body, muscular. It came to no surprise that he was a Taurus when astrology came up. He was nice. We geeked out to old movies and quirky stuff. He's a bit of a musician, loves harder rock and Gun's and Roses. All in all he was nice, I'd love to have him as a guy friend... as nice and fun as he was though, he just isn't my type at all. I mean, I'm a team sports kind of girl and he likes Olympian and solo stuff. Though he might win the prize for most fun and interesting conversation of the night.

SWITCH


#33- Codename "PA"

So I might have been a tie watcher with this guy... he had the most horrendous tie, decorated brightly with medical instruments. I straight up ask him "so are you in Medicine?" He replies "I'm a PA." "Great, now is that production assistant, personal assistant, physician's assistant, producers assistant..." I list off a few more, "though judging by the state of your tie, I would guess physician's assistant." He looked at me dumbfounded. I'm sorry, if you're going to throw out acronyms like you're impressive, I'm going to throw sass back in your face. He didn't seem to really want to be there, so I mostly laughed at his unintentional humor. Little man with thinning hair, bitter, tired and roped into attending the event by his friends because his friends like his car the best.

SWITCH

#32- Codename "Stockbroker"

This guy defined being a stockbroker as playing mind games. He said the trick to it was to make the clients on the initial encounter think you don't need them to be successful, that you already are. They will want you and want to work with you. Interesting take on things because I have heard dating described in the same way, especially the initial contact. He was interesting, fun... slightly dumbfounded when I said I worked in film. Why is that so surprising? Not going to lie, I did judge him a little, okay a lot, when he said he walked 18miles home from work one night from financial district to Forrest Hills Queens. Okay maybe my judging was because he lived in Forest Hills. Not sure if he was trying to impress me or what... but that's a long, long, long walk home. I guess, though, he does have the chance to tell his kids one day "I used to walk 18 miles home from work..."

SWITCH

#31- Codename "The Roomie"
In hindsight, this guy looked a little like my friend Annie's friend from High School, Mike. Mike was the roomie of the girl sitting at the table next to me, they came hoping the event would be larger and then they could actually deliberate and discuss when they were on their date. Little did they know they would each only have 7 dates. He was a nice guy, a little whiny about the organization of the event. Once we got past that, we had a really nice conversation. He works in computers, but has worked in television... kinda just fell into it when he did. He's lived all over and is worldly. Talking to him was refreshing. At the end of the end of the next session his roommate leaned over to me and asked me what I thought because he actually liked me and checked yes for my box...

SWITCH

#38- Codename "Blue Eyes"
He had striking blue eyes, worked in finance for a small theatre company. He was completely interesting, completely good looking and completely disinterested in the event. He was roped into it literally 10 minutes before it started. Where he was nice and cool, I highly doubt that he had any desire to further the event past that night. I'm not saying I did, but come on the whole point was to meet people and make connections. Blue eyes or not, show a little enthusiasm.

SWITCH

#37- Codename "Boris"
When I think Boris, I think the Who song "Boris the Spider." Really gruff voice singing "Boris the Spider!" with metally music behind. Why I know that song, I don't really know. I also think Boris and Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle. Boris is intrigued by my name, so I tell him its origin. Do you want my family history too? Then we get on a tangent about alcohol, I have a glass of red wine. He apparently disapproves. He likes white wine. Wimp. We get into an alcohol discussion and I proceed to detail my taste. I'm a girl who likes dark and flavorful beers, whiskey, brandy, Bourbon and scotch. What can I say? I throw that out only to 1. dumbfound most guys and 2. because they think its incredibly sexy. When our session ended he plain and simply tells me he want to skip all the bull shit of getting emails and puts his phone in front of me. 1. that's against the rules, and we know I play by the rules 2. I don't put my number in any one's phone (such an odd, odd ritual). I instead throw down my card. It has my contact info, and if he can actually hold on to it and give me a call, I might actually give him a chance. So, this totally plays to my idea of guys thinking girls drinking guy drinks is sexy. Any one care to refute that?

Anyways, I go down my list, check yes or no, turn my sheet in and leave the rest up to fate. Tis all we can do at this point, is it not? I reconnect with my friend, we have a much less epic journey back to her place where we have a beer and discuss our findings. Whether or not any love connections are made is not the question or the answer really. Did we have fun? Yes. Was it a great story... better than I imagined it could be.

Mouse Tracks

Every year, well since I moved to New York anyways, I have gotten yearly visits from the mice that roam the street. Really its only ever in January when its cold and unbearable outside. Who wants to brave the elements then? Surely not I.

Ivan, well that’s the mouse, generally sets up camp for a few weeks, avoids our traps and munches on some of our food. He is a bit of an annoyance, but as soon as we turn lights on he scampers away.

Little did he know that he would have to face my current crazy roommate. The bane of my existence becomes the bane of his. My way of dealing with him is to keep the place extra clean, and indeed it is cleaner than it has been in years past. Her way is to put out traps and complain to our super everyday.

I explained to her my disdain of sticky traps, asked her to put them away (rather I went around and cleaned them all up). I went down and spoke to the super, asking him if he would come up and repair our mouse hole so that my roommate wouldn’t attempt to merely plug it with steel wool.

The super repairs the hole and she plays nice with me. Only problem is that I think he repaired it while the mouse was hiding somewhere in our place. She puts back out all of her sticky traps, which I then have to track down all of them again.

I have a talk with her again about how much I dislike the sticky traps… to which her reply is “I think you care more about the mouse than you do me.”

She did have a point. I don’t particularly care much for people who are completely heartless, selfish and think only how things affect them. To everything I say or do, her reply is “you realize you’re not the only one in the apartment.” Is she so self absorbed that she thinks the world should revolve around her, or that I do things to deliberately piss her off?

No matter. I clean up the traps and think nothing of it anymore. The mouse is safe, for now anyways, until she decides to put more traps out. The next morning I out and go grocery shopping, come home and hear awful and terrified squeaking. I drop my bags, hoping that my eggs don’t break in the process and look for the poor thing. Right behind the trash can was a trap, damn I missed one. Poor Ivan was stuck. How stupid could I have been? I didn’t know what to do so I grabbed my keys and walked out the door in tears.

I come back a little later and check on the mouse again and as I move things he runs quickly to his safe haven. I let out the loudest cheer I can. He was seriously stuck when I saw him earlier and he managed to work his way free. Ivan is clearly Mighty Mouse. He has won for now. Go Ivan! I just hope he has enough sense to stay out of my apt and away from my crazy roommate… she will never let him live.

The Case of the Grey Fedora and the Big Trade Off

It was a dark, cold and dreary night. Okay so maybe it was only dark and mildly cold, but I wanted to set the mood for the story.

Let's start over. Truthfully, it was a night like any other Friday night in the city. The big debate is whether or not to brave the cold, or to stay in. I, while currently out of work, was inclined to just stay in. The social part of me, however, urged me to go out and be social as I'd been a homebody most of the week and I had several invites. In true Maura fashion, I try to do it all.

I started the night with dinner and a movie from which I had to make a mad dash back to Brooklyn and make a costume change. Fortunately my second destination was in Williamsburg, so I didn't have to go far once the costume change was complete. My friends however wanted to go dancing, and I was skeptical that we would find a place to go dancing in Williamsburg.

The three of us, Julie, Christine and myself, meet at our local pub, have a drink and head out. My friend Christine knows the uncle of the owner of this apparently swanky bar down on Grand Street. There might be dancing, there might not be. Tonight is an adventure, we shall find out.

Huckleberry Bar, cute, but a little hole in the wall from the outside. We walked right by it three times before realizing that was where we needed to be. After passing through a couple black curtains and allowing my eyes time to adjust to the light, the bar turns out to be quite cute and polished for a hole in the wall. Were it in Manhattan, it would be called a lounge and there would have been a cover. Thank God for Brooklyn.

The night progresses and we mostly sit contemplating the people in the bar, my friends and I tend to be quite judgemental from afar. Not a bad judgemental, but judgmental none the less.

Christine is off somewhere and Julie quite suddenly perks up. "Hottie to my 1 o'clock" she says.

I look up, and sure enough an adorable guy sits down at the bar. Julie and I assess the situation and determine whether we think he is there with someone or not. Already that night, we had a run in with a guy who was popping in on his way to meet someone else, so he said.

Christine gets back to the table and after hearing about this guy, decides we all need another drink and while shes there she might as well strike up a conversation. She does and we join shortly there after.

Actor

Shakespeare

Wine

Detectives

Trade Offs

Just some of the things that came up. Some how we leave the bar having traded Julie's Fedora for his Soul. Both items to be returned next Friday, at 2am...

Likely story, Julie will probably never see that hat again. We are ever reminded that no good idea is formed after 2am.

One Week Later...

We all decide to see where this little trade off was going to take us, well that and Julie really wanted her hat back. I meet up with them a little later because the little miss popular that I am has three places to be tonight before the retrieval of the hat.

This time we perch at one of the little lounge tables in the back, so we institute the dancing. There was more dancing this week and more people in general. There was however no sign of our mysterious man. I of course spoke too soon because as soon as I was asked that, I look to the bar and there he is. We make eye contact and I quickly look away, I didn't want him to think I was deliberately looking for him.

Mission is ensued though, I finish my drink and subtly make my way up to the bar to order another and have a little chat.

He forgot the hat of course, but we chat the rest of the evening and he swears to return it... eventually.

to be continued...

Saying goodbye, severing ties and just walking away is the hardest thing in the world to do. Sometimes it has to be done.

More Scraps

You never know when its going to happen, when you're going to find someone who completes your world, and you have no idea how its going to affect you. I like to think my world is complex. Really its simple: Get up, go to work, work out, go out. That's all my world consists of. Yet, in some way my world feels incomplete, like a part of me is missing. What, I don't know. My heart yearns though.

From the Scraps of Notes

Life just kind of happens and time escapes you. Before you know it 3 years have gone by and you're sitting in a rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike wondering when it all changed. When did everyone grow up? You just heard a song on the radio: "you're gonna miss this." You try to keep this in mind as you go through each day, yet it never really hits you until you're back reliving everything.

You went to two of your really good friends wedding this weekend. For them, all through college it was never a matter of will they get married, but rather everyone asked when. 3 years after you all graduate they finally tie the knot. They are the reason to still believe in fairy tales.