Mass Chaos and All Things Religious

This rambling is a week out, but still I feel it needs to be said.

Last week was Easter, and though I am on a spiritual journey at the moment I grew up Catholic and thus desire to pay reverence at certain points of the year. I mean Easter is the crux of the Christian religion, how could it not be important to attend. I have not reduced myself to an Easter/Christmas Catholic, I don't think I ever could. Right now I have just been doing a lot of critical thinking about my faith and what I truly believe, hence I have been turning my head with Philosophy books and Anthropology articles trying to get to the root of it all. I have not reached that yet, and I'm not sure I ever will.

In any case, I attended mass with my brother and sister-in-law. Per her tradition we went to St. Patrick's Cathedral. I thought, okay this could be a cool thing. We got there an hour before mass. There was a line all the way around the church even an hour out. I have never seen such enthusiasm, everyone comes out of the wood works.

As soon as we got inside things started to go down hill. The noon mass was 15 minutes delayed because the 10:30 mass ran over, understandable as the bishop was giving that service. As a result of the delay the priest opted to not do the traditional blessings, to cut the homily into a cliff notes version and essentially rush through the mass in 45 minutes.

Really, it was an impressive feat as there were, I donno, a thousand people there. Still, I can't help but wonder where we as believers draw the line. What is the point of all the show, if in significant moments, you're going to let it fall by the wayside? Why do we do it all? When did Easter and Christmas become a plug and chug procedure?

• side note: Plug and Chug- V. a devalued following of procedure to reach an end result. a term my physics teacher in high school used to describe the procedure we would follow once we programmed formulas into our calculator. We no longer needed to really understand the method or process, simply plug in the numbers and hit =

You would think that one of the greatest Cathedrals in the country would have something more meaningful to say, would make a larger effort to pretend to actually care about getting the point across. Really all I saw was the church trying to get its religiosity out to as many people as humanly possible. Plug and chug.

I suppose in a way its going back to the roots of the liturgical year, after all Easter was placed at the time of year it was to directly coincide with the Pagan Celebration of spring, Ostara. Its particularly interesting to notice just how many Ostara traditions we actually take from the Pagans while recognizing Easter.

I can't merely go through the motions of religion, I can't merely go through motions of life. The things I do need to have meaning and the moment anything becomes autopilot is when I need to reassess my priorities. What happens when its not me, but the institution that is on autopilot?

Saving the World Before Bedtime

So maybe I have stolen this tag line from the Power Puff Girls, but when you do as much as I seem to be able to do you begin to wonder if super powers merely belong to those "super heros." Maybe there is more to this super hero thing. You don't have to be all powerful to accomplish everything, you just have to have drive.

Recently, on a normal day I wake up at 6, run, get ready for work, work a 10 hour day, and find time to read, write, hang out with friends, do a second shorter work out, think. Said tasks are sometimes substituted for more writing, art projects, watching television or movies, listening to music, talking on the phone, attending networking events, watching baseball, attending to other hobbies etc...

At the time nothing I do ever seems terribly significant or like it will amount to anything what so ever. When I look back on it I am often floored by the amount I do. I have actually stopped allowing myself to talk about all I do. Friends have stopped believing me.

I like being able to cover so much ground and I like having the energy to do it all. While I can, I might as well live.

You want to know my secret? I really haven't one. I don't know how I do it. All I know is that i don't ever let myself think I can't do it and I don't let the world get ahead of me. If I were to start thinking the time wasn't there, then it wouldn't be and I would merely be a couch potato watching reruns of Family Guy every night. Time exists as it does to us for us to mold and manipulate it into what we need. The only way we will ever be able to make it is to make the most of what we have and make it worth every single penny.

As far as letting the world get ahead of me, well you see that's why I am always thinking ahead. I always know whats next for me, that way if something comes up I can adjust my route accordingly . Nothing is ever set in stone until it has happened, and even then it's sometimes negotiable. If you stay on top of your game, you will notice that there is plenty of room to allow you to do what ever you wish; that is as long as you are able to see what's there.

Religiosity

Can religion exist with out man? No, I honestly do not think it can. The superior being we have come to know as God, yes; but, religion I think is directly related to man's ability to think.

By definition Religion is a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs. More specifically it is something one believes in and follows devotedly.

I believe, though, that Religion originated directly from our (man's) need to place meaning to things beyond our realm of understanding. Thus, with out man's ability to think there would be no concept of Religion.

Now I do not believe that man is the only being that posses the ability to think, but I do believe man has specific cognitive thought that enables us to conceptualize the past, present, future as well as the wheres, the whys and hows of the universe. Other beings, are able to think but on a different level and seem to remain in their present, it is more instinctual and naturalistic as opposed to really processing information in the same way as man. Man's ability to think, reason and feel is one of the great gifts from God, and also enables us to maintain our free will.

However, prior to man's existence the concept of Religion was an unnecessary concept. With out the ability to think or reason, there is no doubt, no questioning and thus no need for a belief structure to explain anything beyond the realm of understanding. If we could not think and reason in the way we do, we would just be as other beings.

I honestly think, believe religion is a direct product of needing to understand god and to give reason for that which man at the time had no reason or understanding. Often I find myself pondering the concept of religion v. spirituality and where faith fits in to all of this. I have settled on no one answer as of yet. For that matter I also wonder if one needs to identify with a specific religion to live a spiritual and faith filled life, or if religion has been maintained so structurally not only to explain what we cannot understand but also out of a need to identify.

Berserk

Though its quite possibly due to the fact that I have been mostly out of work for the past two months, I find myself being slightly aggravated by little things more and more. I like to call them Buzzerks, mostly because they remind me of little buzzings that drive me beserk.

Two newly recognized Buzzerks


1. People listening to their I Pods so that everyone on the train can hear them. I don't know if its the head phones or the listener, but every time I ride the train or even walk down the street, I find myself overwhelmed with everyone else's music so much so that I can't think straight. What makes you think I want to listen to your music? I appreciate your attempt to broaden my musical horizon; but when I am trying to read on the train and can't concentrate because of your music, you know its time to turn it down.


2. There aren't many all knowing authorities on all subjects, so I get a little irritated the moment someone decides to talk to me like they are. Now, I'm not claiming to be an authority on anything and I will be the first to admit if I am wrong, but because of my broad interests I know a little about a lot of things. Last week I made a comment pertaining to something that happened in some show I was watching, something (despite how far fetched it seemed) I knew to be fact as it was an issue discussed in a biological anthropology class. The person who was watching with me argued back. I don't mind debates, in fact I rather enjoy them as they force me to critically think about what I say. The thing that pissed me off was the fact that she called my bluff and demanded I produce sources. Why, when you speak as if you know everything but actually don't, do you demand me to produce sources. You don't even know what you're talking about. I don't normally retaliate, but as my boss was an hour late the next morning I tried to find the scholarly articles I read in college. I didn't find those resources, but I did find other valid sites to back up my argument.



I know in real debates you need to produce support, but in simple conversation to call someone out and demand back up when you don't really don't know what you're talking about is just plain rude.

I am sure there will be more to come, but for the time being I am over and out.

Anxiety

As I look at the pile of chocolate wrappers sitting on my desk, I wonder where my will power has gone. There was a brief time where I could resist the temptations of the chocolatey goodness that are minis.

Then again, perhaps I am horribly mistaken. Maybe I had no will power at all. Perhaps I was simply not hungry.

A Variety of Experiences

Not that any one remotely cares who reads this blog, and not that I have a following of anyone in my area; but, I thought I would throw in my two cents anyways.

So, because one of my lovely roommates left the gas for our stove on (could have been me, but I'm 99.9% sure it wasn't), I made an effort to get out of my apartment and see the sights in Williamsburg for a change. I mean there is only so much of being a homebody I can do, I am starting to go crazy and get cabin fever.

Basically the gas was a godsend.

Anyways, the point of this post is that I found a mega cute coffee shop, with free Internet and quite possibly the best Latte I have had in New York City. I know that's a huge, huge accusation to make, but I believe it to be the best latte I have had in quite a while.

This wonderful little cafe is Variety on Graham Ave, just north of the Graham L Stop. Yes, I realize I am supposed to be cutting back on my coffee intake, but I am down to one cup of coffee a day. I think I am doing well.

Variety has a nice homey feel to it. To be quite honest, it reminds me of something I would find in my college town, a little country. What did you really expect? It is Williamsburg, after all, that I live in. This place, though, seems to have taken extra care in the aesthetic of the whole place, unlike some little hole in the wall coffee places. From the white paneling to the cool colored wall paper, to the silver plated ceiling, the whole place feels light and full of energy. A perfect place to sit, relax, have a cup of coffee and let the creative juices flow.

The Klutz Extrodinare

I am the queen of botching things up. I am a klutz, what can I say? You've already seen many forms of my klutzy tendencies. By now you really shouldn't expect anything less.

What did I botch up this time? You remember that guy my friends wanted to set me up with? Yeah, that. Here's how it happened:

So after our trivia night Wendy sent an email to the guy she wanted to set me up with. He seemed to take the bait, and she asked me how she should handle this. Stupidly I said group as opposed to just giving him my number. Clearly I wasn't thinking because if I were, then I would have realized that I am always quiet and come off stand offish if you meet me that way.

I mean we were supposed to have a larger group, but ultimately we ended with Wendy, Emily, Amy, the guy and myself. The three people who knew about the set up, and then me and the guy. This situation screams awkward... and why didn't I run?

I arrive and Wendy is already there, so is he. Go figure. Because of how they were already seated, I sat across from him. This would make it difficult later to have any kind of personal conversation with him. And, to top it off I'm not drinking so I can't even drink away the awkwardness. As a result, I started a dialogue with Wendy instead of him. It did become a discussion, but I still talked more to Wendy that to him. I know, I know I wasn't thinking or maybe I was thinking too much. I don't know, I was just in an uncomfortable situation that was spiraling downward... very quickly.

When other people arrived I talked more to them than to him, not to mention I was still sitting across from him making it difficult to talk directly to him.

Exactly what I did wrong:

1. I got quiet and reserved
2. I felt on the spot
3. I was short in my answers, not opening them up for conversation
4. I avoided eye contact
5. I talked to everyone else more than him.

All in all I'm sure I came across as nice but cold and stand offish. Yeah, not surprising.

He and Wendy left, I stayed with Emily as she finished her beer. They walked out the door and I hit my head on the table multiple times as I detailed to Emily why everything went wrong.

Why of all nights did I choose tonight to play the shy card?

I was going to shoot him an email, but before I had the chance to Wendy mentioned he wasn't interested. I didn't ask why, I didn't have to.

Please don't hold this one interaction against me. I promise, I am normally way more personable. I guess I just picked a bad night to have an off day.