Home at Last

After packing out and leaving Detroit, I am finally home. Its a great feeling to be home, but ultimately I know its only temporary. At heart, I will forever be a beach girl for I feel comfort and ease when I am on the coast or neart water; but I need more.

For some time now, I have been saying I wanted to get out of the beach. Dont get me wrong, I love Virginia Beach, its a great place to live. To do the work I want to do, though, I need to leave. Right now I feel that drive more than ever. And so, taking the biggest risk I have ever taken in my life, I am moving up to New York on a whim to work unpaid on a horror film. I am aware that this whole idea is crazy, but amazing at the same time. For once I am being selfish, doing something for me because I feel its what I need.

There is a reason that everything worked out for me to be able to take this leap and make it work right here and now. I'm not sure what it is or how its going to pan out, but I am intrigued to see where it goes.

As hard as it was for me to go home for a week and then leave again, I know it was the right thing for me. Home will always be there for me to return to, and will be with me where ever I go. Home is where the heart is and as long as I have support from friends and family, I can go anywhere.

Right now I am chasing a dream as far as it takes me. There comes a time when you have to stop saying you're going to do things and just do them... a time when you have to stop doubting yourself and be free. With a little bit of hard work, persistence, ingenuity and a lot of faith, everything will fall into place.

I HATE GOODBYES

People say the wait is the hardest part. Well as impaitent as I am, I understand this concept but I disagree. Getting to point A, you are uncertain but open to whatever. There are no attachments just ideas. But by the time you reach the end you have had time to form attachments, affect lives, and in turn be truly affected. Now, you tell me what's harder to leave?

Thursday began a long weekend of goodbyes. Some may follow along side me as I journey, some will pop in and out of my life periodically, and some I will never see again.

Thursday bombarded me with both Matrix and MEP farewells. The women I tutor want me to stay, and someone even offered to find me a rich boyfriend, a decent house and a job, so that I could stay and tutor her. Who would be crazy enough to turn down that offer? Me. I'd rather adventure outward into the unknown and see what life throws at me.

The women there will never understand that they taught me more than I ever could teach them. Cliche, I know. But its true. Seeing them chase their dreams of something as simple as a GED has helped give me the courage to chase a childhood dream that has followed me through life. I will make it, mark my words and they have helped empower me. My students were harder to say goodbye to than the job. I was like Sylvia Barrett, but teaching adults in intercity Detroit.

Matrix shut down the office for me at 4pm and we had a potluck. There was food, fun and talk. I stayed fairly quiet because if I talked too much I would cry. I have learned so much from each person there in their own ways. I am really going to miss that place, I mean how many places will be calling you Princess about half way through the year (Thank you Elana for starting that one). When working with all women you have to claim your Princessdom. If you don't someone else will.

Friday was then my last day... my last day of my year of service. I can't even begin to tell you how hard it was saying good bye to everyone for the last time. The thing is, though, that I knew what I had to do, I knew I had to leave, and I knew I had to follow my heart. Anita and I said our goodbyes to the JVs (though I was over there most of the weekend). Saturday I took Anita to the Airport, and bid her farewell. I doubt we will ever live in the same vicinity again, but I can guarantee that after everything we went through together, we will always have a connection.

Saturday night I went over Elaine's house for a while. Throughout the year, Elaine meant a lot to me, and to thank her I made her a mask. When I finally left her place, I met up with the JV's for a movie at the drive in (Knocked Up). It was hilariously funny, and we spent most of the night pondering what we were going to be doing for the rest of our lives, a truly philosophical moment in time. I stayed the night on their couch. I couldn't stand to spend a night alone in the house with Mary.

Sunday I packed most of the day and by evening, Sarah arrived to come and save me. I gave her my wonderful tour of Detroit. She enjoyed it, and thought it was fabulous I took her for Mexican food. The restaurants there have some of the best! Monday morning we hopped in the car and with out a thought, I said a final goodbye to Detroit.

Get Smart

When I was a kid I dreamed of being Agent 99, aside Maxwell Smart, fighting crime, being witty and generally going on adventures. I have seen every episode of Get Smart at least 10 times and for much of my childhood wanted to be a secret agent.

What I find brilliant about that show is that I was able to laugh at it as a kid, and as I grew was able to continue growing and laughing with the show. The comedy was brilliant and full of depth that I don't think can be fully realized unless you grow up with it.

Now... the moment I have been waiting for my whole life (slightly exaggerated here) is here. Get Smart has been made into a movie with Steve Carell as Max, Anne Hathaway as Agent 99, Alan Arkin as Chief and a plethora of others. Golly, its time for me to break out my old Agent 99 badge from Thespian Society initiations, dust it off and carry it around with me. The only thing better than its cast now would be if I were cast as Agent 99... but you know I just "Missed it by that much."

Trailer

My Harry Potter Adventure

As a Harry Potter fan who has purchased her book the night it was released for the past two books, I had to do something just as notable if not more so for the 7th and final book. It would be tough for me to top last time: in London, sitting in line with people from all over the world while trying to get the line to do the wave.... and then the next day traveling to Edinburgh, Scotland. Yeah, not much will top that, but I can try.

My Harry Potter night adventure... It all started that morning when I got dressed. I had to decide between a fun Tonksey type outfit or my classic Gryffindork shirt. Because my Tonksey outfit wasn't Tonksey enough, I decided with Gryffindork. I then drive from Cleveland to Pittsburgh.

Why Pittsburgh, you ask? Well its not Pittsburgh specifically, my family reunion happened to be that weekend and so I made plans to purchase my book there. Coincidentally my friend Draco (well I met him at a Halloween party almost 4 years ago when he was dressed as Draco) just moved to Pittsburgh. It was destined that we would spend the evening together at the release party.

So I get to Pittsburgh, spend a little time with my family and then shamelessly tell them that I am going to meet my friend for the Harry Potter release. As I walk out the door, Dad reminds me to pick up my brother from the airport. Don't worry Daddy, I wont.

So I go pick up Draco. He doesn't look like Draco anymore, I personally think he looks better as himself than as Draco... but that's a moot point that I have told him since the day I met him. Tis a shame that he has always had a girlfriend, it would have been interesting to see if we actually could have worked. This is beside the point...

We get to B&N, like a faithful friend he had already gotten the paper bracelets to get the book at midnight. We hung around the store for a bit... I got sidetracked a time or two. We got sorted, saw a potions demonstration, humored a scavenger hunt, and thought about getting face painted... I thought about getting face painted rather. Then when we were both feeling overwhelmed with crazed fans, we left the store and went to the bar next door for a little bit. We hoped to see other Harry Potter people, but we were disappointed. It was nice catching up with him.

At 10:30 we left to pick up my brother and after getting a little turned around, we finally got him, got back and got our books.

Yay for a night of adventure.


I was finished with the book by Sunday Night (and that was only about 10 hours of reading... I didn't want to ditch my family, now did I?)

Will have personal review of book later.

Just a Thought...

I should put more pictures on my blog

Confessions of a Crazed Fan...

Harry Potter.

Is it bad that four different friends, with in a four hour time frame told me they thought of me every time they saw anything Harry Potter? That might be a little outrageous.

After this statement, I am sure you can suspect that I did indeed go see the movie opening day at Midnight. I am sure you can also guess that I bought the tickets at least a week in advance, and was first in line for my theatre. The line actually formed because me and my friends walked into the movie theatre lobby and asked stood like we were in line. Everyone who had been standing outside in front of the place walked in, confused and a little peeved since they were there before us. Glorious, just glorious. I'm sorry that we all happen to come from larger cities where this type of thing has lines forming several hours in advance.

I would have dressed up, but I didn't really have anyone I could dress up as. Though, after seeing Tonks, I want to dress up as her. Even though I couldn't dress up, I did have my wand and might I say that I was fully prepared to hex, charm or curse anyone who made fun of me or got into my way. It was a midnight movie release, everyone there with me was just as obsessed and you know it (the theatre cheered when 3 kids walked in dressed up).

Well done movie, I might add. And, I'm not just saying that because I like the book. I thought that the story was cut in all the right places and for it being the longest book, it didn't seem disjointed. The story flowed really well and every actor made their little on screen time valuable. Snape was amazing.

Well done chaps, well done.

So, who wants my extra ticket when I attend one of the last two premieres?

And, in less than a week's time, I will be purchasing my 7th book... and sighing a long drawn out sigh when I have completed it.

One thing I fully believe, that I have learned in part from Harry Potter, and that I try to live by is: only those who believe in the impossible can make the impossible possible...

Where Loyalties Lie

A hush fell over the crowd as the game went into the 13th inning... Okay, that's a bit dramatic. Let me just say that Saturday's Red Sox v. Tigers game was amazing. The Sox scored early on with a home run from Ortiz (who I might add was walked the rest of the game... shame, real shame) and then the Tigers caught up around the 4th. No run was scored again until the bottom of the 13th when Pudge had a nice shot out to center field. The game was intense, well played and fun. The only way it could have been better was if the Sox had won.

Initially in the game I was a little superficial... see we had standing room tickets, so we would move around every so often. I would move only if it did not interfere with me watching J.D. Drew bat (I'm sorry, he's hot). A couple innings in though I had completely forgotten that I was doing any gawking at guys. My focus had turned to Dusting Pedroia, rookie second baseman, who I had not really noticed before. The entire game I was trying to remember his name, and now I don't think I will forget it. All around, he played really well (both Saturday night and Sunday when I watched the game on television). I think I have a new favorite Sox player... and this one isn't superficial at all.

One of the more interesting parts of the game was at the bottom of the 13th, Papelbon was in pitching. He kept throwing to first after Gary Sheffield got on base. Sheff had to dive back to the base each time to remain safe... there were quite a few close calls. He remained safe, but the game remained interesting. Even better, after a friend said Paps was being a jerk I listed of about 10 reasons why he wasn't. I'm sorry, if he has to speed and control to actually get the runner to have to dive back each time, I say keep it interesting and throw. Tigers fans claimed he was stalling... I think they were just getting nervous that it was going to go into a 14th inning.

I cant even begin to tell you how amazing it was to be in Comerica Park wearing my Boston gear proud. Any other game, no one thinks twice when I wear my Boston hat. But, when Tigers played Sox I received evil looks from just about every Tigers fan. It was as if they were asking what I was doing in their ball park. One guy went so far as to tell me I was wearing the wrong hat. When I confirmed I wasn't, he asked if I was one of the bandwagon Sox fans. I looked at him like he was crazy and proudly stated that I was an east coast girl, born and bread Boston fan. He accepted the answer, rock on.

Out of the 45, 000 people at the park that night (number could be wrong), I was among a handful of Boston Fans. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Really, its not about the outcome of the game. Yeah, its always a little better when your team wins. But, its really about having a passion for the game, supporting your team through thick and thin, and having fun whilst doing it.

Disturbia

I have to say, this movie was not a bad take on Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. I liked it and I look forward to seeing where Shia LeBouff's career goes.

I have been in a strange "horror movie" mode recently. I want to find a movie that genuinely scares me. I haven't. Disturbing images don't bother me, and I don't get nightmares.

I think it goes back to when I was about 5... at least that long ago. My mother used to let me stay up and watch Alfred Hitchcock Presents on Nick at Night. It didn't bother me then and even as I grew up, I would wake up in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep and watch movies like Jaws to fall back asleep. Yeah, I am sick, twisted and a little warped... but I want to get into film. Do you expect any less?

Mercy End of the Year Reflection

Serendipity: a happy accident; a fortuitous twist of fate. some laugh at this notion but serendipity is why I am here. A year ago I was applying to an internship at a small theatre in DC when I happened upon Mercy Volunteer Corps, which just so happened to have a placement at a social justice theatre. I decided to apply if I did not get the internship. I didn't and so I applied.

I wasn't sure then it was what I wanted my first year out of college, and still wasn't sure when I was accepted to MVC. But, everything seemed wrapped up with a nice little bow for me to be here in Detroit. So, I left it up to fate: heads I'd come to Detroit and tales I'd pursue other opportunities.

Can you guess what the coin landed on? (not kidding about the coin part)

So I packed my essentials: clothes, paint, a VHS of Labyrinth; and, armed with my eternal optimism and mindset of "Nothing is impossible, impossible just requires a couple extra phone calls... and some duct tape," I adventured onward to Detroit.

I had no expectations going into this year, only hope for what might be. Even with no expectations I have been completely blown away.

A year like this changes you if you let it, you have to take the good with the bad and mold it into something you can take with you, to remind you of all you're capable of.

One of my first assignments at Matrix Theatre was designing and compiling costumes for their fall show: set in the 1920's, 10 cast members each needed about 5 costume changes.

Now I studied some theatre in school and even took a few design classes. Nothing prepared me for this. I had to be a real life costume designer. Don't tell them, but I made it up as I went. Sought out help when I needed it, but really learned how to jump head first into projects and have the confidence to make it up as I go.

I have used this technique all year. In addition to the theatre I also tutor women who are working toward their G.E.D. If you know how hard teaching kids is, adults are 10 times harder (in my opinion anyways). Many of the women I work with have gone 30, 40, 50 years or more of their life speaking and writing improperly by educational standards, with reading levels as low as 2nd grade and basic understanding of Math. Not to mention that when you explain what is "correct" they ask you why its this way cause it makes no sense, or why we have three versions of the word there with three different spellings and meanings, or why fractions cant work like whole numbers. I often stare blankly at them wondering the same thing.

Each day, each new tutoring session, each new woman I had to make up a new plan of action. Many times I felt inadequate, but eventually with persistence you get through. And, as long as you're giving them the tools to give themselves the confidence to let themselves succeed, then you yourself are succeeding.

It breaks my heart to hear them say 'I can't,' or 'I'm stupid,' but I just stay positive and encourage them. Its all about empowerment.

Sometimes its not even so big as empowerment, sometimes people just need you to listen. I have been a part of the planning committee for an Inclusive Theatre Initiative. This whole year we have been planning these story circles to gather stories that may eventually help to develop an original play. The workshops themselves are inspiring, and people are amazed at the stories they come up with to accompany the questions: "what was a day that changed my life?" and "When was a time i did something I thought I couldn't?" These questions aren't as easy as they may seem-- trust me. I was amazed at how long it took me to come up with something I did that I thought I couldn't. What did I finally come up with? Giving Blood.

They aren't questions we think of every day, but they are questions that make you realize how special and unique you actually are. So, workshop facilitators and participants alike share themselves and stories through words, art and dance.

Detroit has been incredible in so many ways... I cant even begin to sum them all up in a short reflection of this year. I have learned about life, love and all I am made of. I don't think I'll fully understand the lasting effects until i am well into my next adventure. What I do know is that things and people are always worth a second, deeper look; never understand yourself or others; miracles happen everyday if only you open your eyes to them; risks are meant to be taken; and each new day offers another chance to fall in love.

Don't be afraid to let yourself fall, because one minute you're telling yourself not to and the next you're fumbling with the parachute on the way down.

Bird Watching

There is a sweet mockingbird that frequents our office. He arrived with the summer, and though only here a short time I certainly enjoy his presence. I sometimes like to sit back and watch as he works away, graceful and enchanting is he. A nice and subtle distraction from work. But, alas my time here comes to a close and though he will be gone by summer's end, I will fly away too soon. Such is my life, a wanderer. Moving from place to place, I search for an eventual home to call my own. The bird, mocks as he does best, perhaps if I just stay then maybe he will too. But, that is not so. As much as I might hope, it cant be. Thus, I will just watch and briefly escape in what little time we have left.